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Change A Lightbulb Jokes
Here is our collection of classic 'change a lightbulb' jokes.
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How many surgeons does it take to change a lightbulb?
''Why don't you just let us remove the entire socket - you don't need it, and it'll just give you trouble later.''
How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but it takes at least three light bulbs.
How many survivors of a nuclear war does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.
How many astronomers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
How many auto mechanics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to try to put in the wrong lamp, and one to replace the broken socket.
Two. One to try to put in the wrong lamp, and one to replace the broken socket.
How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
Two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
How many bluegrass musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to screw it in and one to complain that it's electrified.
Two. One to screw it in and one to complain that it's electrified.
How many bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb?
None. We contract out for things like that.
None. We contract out for things like that.
How many civil servants does it take to change a light bulb?
45. One to change the bulb, and 44 to do the paperwork.
45. One to change the bulb, and 44 to do the paperwork.
How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
That depends on whether it has health insurance.
That depends on whether it has health insurance.
How many Thomas Edisons does it take to change a light bulb?
None. He doesn't change them, he invents them.
None. He doesn't change them, he invents them.
How many members of the U.S.S. Enterprise does it take to change a light bulb?
Scotty will report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in the Engineering Section is burnt out, to which Kirk will send Bones to pronounce the bulb dead. Scotty, after checking around, notices that they have no more new light bulbs, and complains that he can't see in the dark to tend to his engines. Kirk must make an emergency stop at the next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula IV, to procure a light bulb from the natives. Kirk, Spock, Bones, Sulu, and 3 red shirt security officers beam down. The 3 security officers are promply killed by the natives, and the rest of the landing party is captured. Meanwhile, back in orbit, Scotty notices a Klingon ship approaching and must warp out of orbit to escape detection. Bones cures the native king who is suffering from the flu, and as a reward the landing party is set free and given all of the light bulbs they can carry. Scotty cripples the Klingon ship and warps back to the planet just in time to beam up Kirk et. al. The new bulb is inserted, and the Enterprise continues with its five year mission.
Scotty will report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in the Engineering Section is burnt out, to which Kirk will send Bones to pronounce the bulb dead. Scotty, after checking around, notices that they have no more new light bulbs, and complains that he can't see in the dark to tend to his engines. Kirk must make an emergency stop at the next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula IV, to procure a light bulb from the natives. Kirk, Spock, Bones, Sulu, and 3 red shirt security officers beam down. The 3 security officers are promply killed by the natives, and the rest of the landing party is captured. Meanwhile, back in orbit, Scotty notices a Klingon ship approaching and must warp out of orbit to escape detection. Bones cures the native king who is suffering from the flu, and as a reward the landing party is set free and given all of the light bulbs they can carry. Scotty cripples the Klingon ship and warps back to the planet just in time to beam up Kirk et. al. The new bulb is inserted, and the Enterprise continues with its five year mission.
How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five. One to hold the bulb, and four to drink beer until the room spins.
How many grocery store cashiers does it take to change a light bulb?
Are you kidding?
They won't even change a five dollar bill.
Are you kidding?
They won't even change a five dollar bill.