Classic Jokes

Every time my wife has an accident in the kitchen I have to eat it.

How do you stop your dog barking in the front garden?
Put him in the back garden.

What do you call a polar bear who is walking through the jungle?
Hopelessly lost.

A policeman stopped a car driver in the middle of town one evening. 'Would you mind blowing into this bag, sir?' asked the policeman. 'Why?' said the car driver. 'Because my chips are too hot,' replied the policeman.