Humorous Jokes and Funny Stories
Welcome to our collection of jokes and funny stories. We hope that you will find them humorous.
On this website you will find American jokes, British jokes, childrens jokes, humorous insults, knock knock jokes, joke questions, your mama jokes and much more.
Our 'Joke of the Day' for Monday, May 6th, 2024
Did you hear about what happened when the police caught a man stealing car batteries?
They charged him.
They charged him.
Here is a sample of the jokes we have for you
A Joke about Divorce
After suffering through years of his wife's awful coffee, the man spat it out and took the coffee maker to his lawyer. Dropping it on the attorney's desk, the man growled, ''Here they are!''
''Here are what?'' the startled lawyer asked.
''Grounds for Divorce.''
From the ''Divorce'' subcategory of the ''Weddings and Marriage'' jokes category
''Here are what?'' the startled lawyer asked.
''Grounds for Divorce.''
From the ''Divorce'' subcategory of the ''Weddings and Marriage'' jokes category
A Scottish Joke
Hamish was travelling by train from Edinburgh to London so he went to the train station and handed over money for his ticket.
The ticket clerk handed over the ticket and said, ''by the way, change at York.''
''I'll have mine now, if you don't mind,'' said Hamish.
From the ''Scottish'' subcategory of the ''People'' jokes category
The ticket clerk handed over the ticket and said, ''by the way, change at York.''
''I'll have mine now, if you don't mind,'' said Hamish.
From the ''Scottish'' subcategory of the ''People'' jokes category
Change A Lightbulb
How many grocery store cashiers does it take to change a light bulb?
Are you kidding?
They won't even change a five dollar bill.
From the ''Change A Lightbulb'' subcategory of the ''Classic'' jokes category
Are you kidding?
They won't even change a five dollar bill.
From the ''Change A Lightbulb'' subcategory of the ''Classic'' jokes category
A Knock Knock Joke
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Mr.
Mr who?
Mr bus so I'm late home.
From the ''Knock Knock'' subcategory of the ''Classic'' jokes category
Who's there?
Mr.
Mr who?
Mr bus so I'm late home.
From the ''Knock Knock'' subcategory of the ''Classic'' jokes category
Lawyers
A lawyer was surprised one day when the door of his office opened and his local family butcher walked in. 'I'd like your advice,' said the butcher. 'If a dog came into my shop and stole some meat, would the dog's owner be obliged to pay for it?' 'He certainly would,' said the lawyer. 'No question about it.' 'Well,' said the butcher, 'your dog came into my shop this morning and stole a chicken.' 'How much was it worth?' asked the lawyer. '$5 should cover it,' replied the butcher. '$5, eh?' said the lawyer. 'All right. My usual fee for legal advice is $30, so if you just write me a check for $25, we'll call it quits.'
From the ''Lawyers'' subcategory of the ''Law'' jokes category
From the ''Lawyers'' subcategory of the ''Law'' jokes category
British Humour
A passenger sitting in the back of a taxi taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. Suddenly the driver screams, loses control of the vehicle, nearly hits a bus, mounts the pavement, and stops inches from a shop window. For a second, everything is quiet in the cab, then the driver turns round to the passenger and says: ''Don't ever do that to me again. You scared the living daylights out of me!'' The passenger apologises and says he didn't realise that a little tap could scare someone so much. The driver replies: ''Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a taxi driver - for the last 25 years I've been driving a hearse.''
From the ''British Humour'' subcategory of the ''People'' jokes category
From the ''British Humour'' subcategory of the ''People'' jokes category
Weddings and Marriage
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed all in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."
The child thought about this for a moment then said, "So why is the groom wearing a black suit?"
From the ''Weddings and Marriage'' jokes category
"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."
The child thought about this for a moment then said, "So why is the groom wearing a black suit?"
From the ''Weddings and Marriage'' jokes category
The Three Bears
The three bears sit down at the breakfast table. Baby bear says, ''who's been eating my porridge?'' Daddy bear says, ''who's been eating my porridge?'' And mommy bear screams, ''do we have to go through this every single morning?
I haven't made the porridge yet.''
From the ''Bears'' subcategory of the ''Animals'' jokes category
I haven't made the porridge yet.''
From the ''Bears'' subcategory of the ''Animals'' jokes category
Golf
Car Drivers
Did you hear about the motorist who always drove his car in reverse?
He knew the town backwards.
From the ''Car Drivers'' subcategory of the ''Transportation'' jokes category
He knew the town backwards.
From the ''Car Drivers'' subcategory of the ''Transportation'' jokes category
Bar
A polar bear walks in to a bar and says to the barman. ''I'll have a Gin and................................................................tonic.''
''Why the big pause?'' replies the barman.
The Polar bear looks down at this hands and says ''What do you mean, I've always had them.''
From the ''Bar'' subcategory of the ''Drunks'' jokes category
''Why the big pause?'' replies the barman.
The Polar bear looks down at this hands and says ''What do you mean, I've always had them.''
From the ''Bar'' subcategory of the ''Drunks'' jokes category
A Question about Dogs
Have you ever notice that when the doorbell rings, the dog's the first one to the door, but it's never for him?
From the ''Questions'' jokes category
From the ''Questions'' jokes category